Can’t you not smile when you see a laughing kid? And telling them a funny joke is a sure way to brighten their day as well as yours. We spent tons of hours to find the best clean jokes and riddles for children of age 10 to 11.
Here is a good joke for a 10-year old:
The mother asks Billy:
– What are you doing?
– And your brother?
– He’s helping me!
|A man enters a restaurant.|
– Chef, are you serving noodles here?
– Of course, sir, we serve everyone here!
|A little girl climbs a mountain with her father: |
– Dad, can I tell you something?
– When we get to the top.
Ten minutes later:
– Can I tell you now?
– When we get to the top.
An hour later, the father turns to his daughter:
– Here we are, what did you want to tell me?
– I forgot my bag down…
|Two mad people want to escape the psychiatric hospital. |
One of them explains to the other:
– If the security guy is on the right, we go left. If he is on the left, we go to the right.
Later, in the night, one madman says to another:
– Everything is ruined. We can’t escape now: there is no security over there!
|A lady walks into a pharmacy. |
– Hello sir! I would like acetylsalicylic acid, please!
– Do you mean aspirin?
– Oh yes, that’s it … I am so bad with remembering names!
|– Grandpa, is it true that sharks eat sardines? |
– Yes, it’s true.
– So how do they open the cans?
|A Belgian minister tells his advisers: |
– Since Americans set foot on the moon, they think they are the best. I propose that we fly to the sun.
An adviser responds:
– But we all going to burn!
The minister answers:
– That’s why we’ll go at night!
|A madman runs around a tree, chased by a dog. A doctor arrives and tells him: |
– Be careful, he’ll catch you!
The madman answers him:
– That would surprise me, I am ten laps ahead.
|A group of terrified visitors comes out of a haunted castle. One of them addresses the security guard at the door: |
– There is a ghost in this castle!
– Impossible, sir. It’s been 406 years that I work here and I’ve never seen a ghost!
|Two snails discuss: |
– Do you want to go to pick cherries?
– But they are not yet ripe!
– Do not worry, by the time we get there, they will be ripe.
|On a road, a snail sees a slug passing by and exclaims: |
– Wow, what a nice convertible!
|Two crazy people are on a tree. The first goes down and says to the other: |
– Are you coming down?
– No, I’m not ripe yet!
|A gentleman walks in an art gallery: |
– Oh, this painting is beautiful!
– This is Picasso, sir, replied the gallerist.
– This one is not bad either!
– It’s Van Gogh, sir.
– Oh dear. This one is very very ugly!
– Ah, that’s a mirror, sir.
|A mother was waiting for the bus with her five-year-old daughter when she read a sign: “Free for children under 5 years old”. |
She told her daughter:
– Honey, if you say that you are four we are going to pay less. It’s just for the time of the ride.
The girl nods and the bus arrives. The mother and her daughter get on a bus when the driver asks the child:
– How old are you?
– Four years, sir.
– Well, you’re taller. When will you be five?
– As soon as we get off the bus.
|Grandma says to her grandson: |
– Since it’s your birthday, I’ll make you a cake with twelve candles!
– You know, Grandma, I would prefer if you make me twelve cakes with one candle.
|– I was born in Paris. |
– Which part?
– All of me.
|Susanne: Hey! |
Susanne: How are you!
Peter: How are you!
Susanne: Are you mocking me ?!
Peter: Are you mocking me ?!
Susanne: I’m ugly (grins).
Peter: Yes, that’s right.
|Daughter asks her mother: |
– Mom, how long have you been married to Dad?
– I’ve been married to your dad for 10 years!
– And how much longer do you have to?
|– Daddy, why do giraffes have such long necks?|
– Because they can not bear the stink of their own farts!
|Two cockroaches go around. They are looking for something tasty. |
Suddenly the one cockroach finds a brown sticky lump and tries it.
He says: “Hey, that tastes like garbage.”
The other one tastes it and replies: “Wow! Delicious! It really is garbage.”
|A kangaroo mother is scratching her belly. |
Then she tells her baby:
– How many times have I told you that you should not eat in bed!
|The phone is ringing. |
The dog picks it up and says:
– I am sorry? the voice asks at the other end of the line.
The dog repeats:
– Who is there?
– Ruff! R is for Robert, U is for Umbrella, F is for Frank! “
|At midnight, two skeletons climb out of their graves in the graveyard and go to two motorcycles parked on the street. |
Suddenly a skeleton says: “Just a moment, I forgot something!”
It comes back with its tombstone on its back.
Second skeleton: “Are you crazy? What’s the point? ”
First Skeleton:” I’m not stupid to drive without a driver’s license!”
|A man says to his friend:|
– Tonight I ate a huge mushroom in my dream.
– Well, and?
– When I woke up, my pillow had disappeared!
|– Son, do not you feel like playing with the electroelephant?|
– Mom, I’m already 12. Can you please tell me that I should vacuum?
|A mother, expecting a new child, asks her son: |
– How would you like to call your brother?
– Umm… With the phone?
|A magician calls a boy from the audience onto the stage. |
He gives his hand and asks kindly:
– Do you know me, boy? Have you seen me before?
– No, Dad!
|After bathing, the twins Peter and Paul sit on the bed. Peter laughs. |
– Why are you grinning like that?, asks their mother.
– I’m glad that you washed Paul twice.
|12-year-old Annie is writing in her diary: |
“The Internet didn’t work today, so I had to spend time with my family.
Seem to be nice people.”
|A man rushes into a HomeDepot store: |
– Quickly get me a mousetrap! I have to catch the bus!
– I’m sorry, but we do not have such big traps!
|Two mice are sitting outside and chatting. Suddenly a bat is flying by. |
One mouse says to the other: “When I grow up, I will also become a pilot!”
|– I found four horseshoes today,” says Billy proudly at home.|
– Do you know what that means, Mommy?
– Sure. There is a barefoot horse running somewhere.
|– Mom, the boys at school, call me distracted!|
– Billy, you live in the house across the road.
|A woman with a five-year granddaughter is sitting in the airplane.|
When she found out that the lady sitting next to them was a teacher, she immediately asked the girl to demonstrate her backward counting skills.
The girl starts counting down:
– Twenty, nineteen, eighteen….
– Great. Did you learn this at school?, asks the teacher.
– No. At the microwave.
|Grandma says to her granddaughter:|
– Can you explain to me, in a scientific way: Why do I see the lightning first and then hear the thunder?
– Well, everything is clear here, Grandma. Your eyes are in front, and your ears are behind.
|Grandmother sings a lullaby for her granddaughter at night. |
She sings for an hour, two, three…
She got tired and decided to take a break.
Suddenly the granddaughter opens her eyes and asks:
– Grandma, may I sleep now?
|A grandmother and her granddaughter sit at a classical music concert. |
Granddaughter looking at the cellist asks her grandmother:
– Grandma, can we go home once this man finishes sawing his box?
|Little Johnny saw a pack of chocolates on the table and quickly ate them all. |
His sister is angry.
– You ate all the chocolates and did not even remember me!
– Of course, I did. Why do you think I ate them so quickly?
|– Little Johnny, how many letters in the alphabet?|
– Why is it eight?
– A L P H A B E T.
|Mother tells her son:|
– Can you please close the window? It’s raining.
– And you think, if I close the window, the rain stops?
|– Daddy! I saw a huge car in the street. It was like a house.|
– Son! Why are you exaggerating? I told you a hundred million times that this is a bad habit!
|A little camel asks mom:|
– Mom, why do we need humps?
– We store water in them so we can live in the desert.
– Why do we have such big legs?
– In order not to fall into the sand when you walk through the desert.
– Why do we have such thick lips?”
– To eat thorns that grow in the desert!
– Well, why do we need all of these if we live in the zoo?
|Where are mosquitoes in winter?|
– I do not know. But I want them to stay there in the summer too.
|– Mom, what is it like to have the best daughter in the world?|
– I do not know, ask your grandmother.
|Schoolchildren are on the field trip at the police station. |
The children noticed a huge board with photos of different people.
Billy asks the teacher:
– Who are those people on the pictures?
The teacher answers:
– These are photos of criminals. The police are looking for them!
– They broke the law. These are bad people.
– It would be better for the police to catch them and put them into jail instead of taking their pictures and advertising them!
|In the movie theater:|
– Boy, you are buying a ticket from me for the fifth time!
– It’s not my fault. The man at the entrance keeps tearing them apart!
|The worst nightmare of childhood is when your Mom left you in line, and she went to another department. |
And the line is getting shorter, shorter, shorter…
|Little Johnny asks little Annie:|
– When we grow up, will you marry me?
– You see, in our family, we marry each other. For example, my grandfather married my grandmother, my dad married mom, my uncle married my aunt.
|A hippopotamus in the dentist office sat on the chair and opened its mouth. |
The dentist says:
– You don’t have to open your mouth so wide?
– Aren’t you going to check my teeth?
– I am, but I want to stay outside.
|Two kids are talking. One of them asks:|
– How old is your brother?
– He’s one year old.
– Strange. My puppy is also one year old, but he walks better than your brother.
– Of course, he does. He has twice more legs.
|What is 10 feet tall, has 4 jaws and 25 pairs of antennas? |
– I do not know but let’s run.
|Q: What do you call a bee that comes from America?|
|Q; What do you call an elephant that does not matter?|
|Q; Why is the barber never late?|
A: He knows short cuts.
|Q; What starts with E, end with E and has only one letter in it?|
|Q: What does a buffalo say to his son when dropping him at school?|
|Q: What do you call bears without ears?|
|Q: How do you call an elevator in China? |
A: By pressing the button!
|Q: What is a kangaroo’s favorite year?|
A: Leap year!
|Q: What does a mouse say behind a cow? |
A: Please, do not poop!
|Q: What is the longest word in English? |
A: Elastic, because it stretches!
|Q: Why do scuba divers always jump back from the boat? |
A: Because otherwise, they would fall into the boat!
|Q: What is in front of us but that we never see? |
A: The future.
|Q: What is on the earth all the time, but never gets dirty?|
A: Your shadow!
|Q: What is in the middle of Paris? |
|When I’m up, it’s lying down. |
When I’m lying, it’s up.
What is it?